Dear Self

Dear Self,

I am so sorry I have been ignoring you… I wasn’t able to hit the pause button and check in because everyone else has been much more important to me than you. I’ve also been slightly cruel to you, constantly criticizing you, picking you apart and focusing on all the negative things about you.

Boy have I been a terrible friend! Sometimes all I see are your bad qualities. I’m so sorry about that. I forgot how beautiful you are. Your eyes outshine the marks of character that surround them. So often when I look in the mirror, I only see your flaws. The truth is no one else sees you like that. I am so sorry for focusing on your faults when I should have been celebrating your strengths.

I’m sorry I didn’t nourish you with mindful healthy things like plant-based meals and homemade recipes and natural ingredients. I’ve been neglectful, filling you with processed foods, sugar and hormones. I didn’t know disease begins with poor nutrition. I’m sorry I didn’t exercise regularly. I naively assumed you would always weigh the same and that your heart would function perfectly forever and your muscles would remain lean and dense and strong.

I didn’t know you love water so much, so sorry. I also forgot to let you rest because… I thought your personal batteries never needed charging. I can’t believe I treat my technology better that you.

I thought you loved the sun and I often forget to wear sunscreen. I didn’t know you could EVER get skin cancer… I thought you liked to be brown. I thought prescription meds were a quick fix for you. I didn’t know that I could help you naturally and give you energy though exercise and mindful wellness.

I didn’t know that you get depressed when I ignore you and I don’t take care of you. I didn’t know you feel so bad when you’re over worked & neglected. I never thought of showing you other ways to live that might make you happier ugh, so sorry!

I am sorry that I did not have faith in your intuition & that I forgot that everything I need to know is inside of me. You are so wise, I didn’t trust you enough. I didn’t know that you needed permission to cry and become unraveled in order to heal. I thought it was normal that you were not fulfilled. I actually thought it was just part of being a woman. I didn’t hit the pause button enough and check in with you. You are so strong and good at compartmentalizing all of your pain, in order to keep functioning for me. I’m so sorry I was not more in tune with you.

I have finally slowed down.
I am here. I am looking at you. I am listening.
I am tuning in to your little voice and I want to hear you.

You are a masterpiece, and you’re the only place I have to live.

I am here now.

Love,
Me